The Hobbit: Battle of the Five Armies - A Review by a Hobbitla

A Tale Of Woe And Beginnings

I held off watching this, dreading what I might find; and alas I discovered the need for tissues and nose-honking. It wasn't as bad as I thought, though. 

When I was a child a kindly uncle of mine presented me with The Hobbit as a Christmas present. The reason? Rankin and Bass's animated television version enchanted me. I guess they noticed when I started drawing Bilbo, looking for all the world like Ian Holm, dark haired with a button nose, in a red vest with green knickers. A pipe hung thoughtfully in his mouth, with smoke curling up from it in spirals. I remember that drawing as if I'd done it only yesterday. 

I'd fallen in love with Bilbo's character - both his silly needs and his valiant heart. I was amazed by the horrors of Mirkwood Forest, delighted by the haughty Elf king, and gladdened by the silly antics of the Dwarves and their mission. So to say that I was expecting an aweful lot from this movie is an understatement. 

What I found was the usual presumptive and filled-in adventure that "The Scriptwriters" (I refuse to mention their names as they make me so crazy) love to twiddle into Tolkien's work. As I watched the "Lord of The Rings" unfold, I cannot tell you how many times I cried out in pain at the dialogue. During "The Hobbit", however, I rarely blinked. I was not challenged by the changes in the story. I liked the Galadriel scene (as I did in LOTR/TTT) , and the little bits of change that amounted to huge differences in Tolkien's work didn't phase me. 

I have to ask myself, am I getting used to this constant assault on one of my favorite writers and linguists? Have I just given up the fight? Or was it the use of the word "ere" that softened me? 

Perhaps it was Dain's Scottish accent. I will never know. 

What I do know is that Orlando Bloom's face was heavily worked on, the effects added to mask his age, that all of the elves and their armor looked wonderful, that the Dwarfen armor too was glorious, that Smaugs death was indescribably good, and that the last battle was very much as I pictured it. 

I think I liked this movie best of all the Hobbit movies. There was an enchantment about it that I had not felt about the LOTR movies. It seems to me the "The Scriptwriters" have finally hit on a balance of effects and magic that I can live with. I am now certain that they are ready to take on The Silmarillion. 

What they will do with it is a matter that I don't want to ponder. There are too many great stories too choose from. 

Either way, I'll be looking forward to whatever they choose to do, if they do. 

Right now, I do wish for it.